“Love is not my motivation; it is my state of being. You cannot tempt me with the promise of your scraps when I feed myself.” If aromantic people primarily desire friendship or nonromantic partnerships over romance, then how can they practice any recognized form of non-monogamy? And polyamory the practice of having multiple intimate, loving relationships is just for romantic people, right? The truth is, being aromantic or asexual usually means there’s an emphasis on friendship, which is inherently non-monogamous. Being aromantic means loving a bit differently, but in ways that matter just as much. Knowledge about these experiences and identities can help with clarifying relationship needs, bringing up new possibilities and better choices for relationship format ion, and for turning friendship into something more than a simple throwaway stand in for some potential romantic partner. Communities built on friendship rather than competition (and let s face it, competitiveness is usually encouraged when it comes to romance) would be more cohesive, less prone to the power dynamics that lead to systemic abuse, and can actually cultivate true agency. There are plenty of books out there already for straight, white, romantic folks. This is the book Black queer aros never got.